d666666 Messed Up Miyazaki Castles
Image: Jean Ignace Isidore Gerard Grandville (reproduction: Gerd Küveler), Gulliver Discovers Laputa (detail), 1839. Public domain source.
Inspired by a half-remembered joke from an episode of Kill James Bond. Roll 6d6 and plop one of these in your campaign setting or as a wild encounter in your hex crawl.
d6 The castle...
- squats over a reservoir that contains an ancient, flooded ruin.
- flies through the air at the center of a maelstrom.
- sparkles on a small island in the middle of pirate-infested waters.
- overlooks a magical forest, home to giant, talking animals.
- sits at the center of an abandoned, otherworldly amusement park.
- crawls across the countryside on mechanical legs.
d6 Its occupants are...
- fascist cronies in fancy dress uniforms and rocket-launching gauntlets.
- giant, gentle automata - battered but nearly impervious.
- sailors, pirates, and tourists.
- leprous gunsmiths and sex-workers-turned-metallurgists.
- animistic spirits on holiday.
- an elemental demon and a wizard's apprentice.
d6 They are led by...
- a wicked count, bombastic and merciless.
- an ancient monarchy, long thought deceased, but with a single recently discovered inheritor.
- a beautiful lounge singer, captivating and infinitely patient.
- a firebrand daimyo, innovative and straight to the point.
- a witch-turned-business executive, greedy but with a heart of gold.
- a secretive wizard, vane and capricious.
d6 They seek to...
- kidnap their leader's sister and recover her signet ring.
- nurture the local wildlife and protect an ancient power source.
- remain a neutral haven, removed from political unrest.
- fend off two simultaneous invasions - one by giant beasts and one by the army of an avaricious neighbor.
- offer hospitality and luxury in exchange for currency and true names.
- escape detection by larger political powers, avoiding promises made long ago.
d6 Their treasure is...
- counterfeit currency, minted on site, that has infiltrated every known market.
- an ancient power source, emanating light and capable of terrible destruction.
- the hand of their leader in marriage, sought after through contest and conflict.
- the severed head of an ancient life spirit, said to grant immortality.
- measured in company scrip, exchangeable for medicinal waters and tinctures.
- the heart of their leader - still beating, ablaze with magical energy.
d6 Right now...
- a master thief is putting together a team to break inside.
- a pirate crew has wrecked nearby and prowls around the premises.
- a boisterous crowd has gathered to bet on a fight between two master duelists.
- an agent of the Imperial Court seeks to manipulate the castle's leader to his own ends.
- the leader's twin sister has infiltrated the castle as the latest move in a back-and-forth intrigue.
- the castle's leader has left for points unknown. They are expected back soon, but the occupants are in disarray in the meantime.